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My entry to the Rain Drenched Lounge Contest in The Writer's Longe:
The heavy downpour tried its level best to wash away the innumerable puddles of blood surrounding the girl...The girl was drenched in blood, crying her eyes out. Drops of blood fell from her eyes, but there was no one to grieve with her..He had promised to stay with her in sorrow and in joy forever!! But was forever just an hour long???
The blood soaked clothes stuck to her body. It made her feel cold, but it didn't even compare to how cold her soul was at that moment!! She hadn't done anything wrong, but why was she the one to suffer???
The rain was Gods way to soothe her, to wipe her tears. But the rain was no more as pleasant as it used to be to her...Whenever drops poured from the heaven, she was the first one to run out and dance in the streets with abandon...but now the same rain was hurting her. It felt like bullets falling on her tender, soft skin!!
It was hard to imagine that the girl was having the time of her life just an hour ago. She was flying high. She was smiling. She had warm arms around her. She was on cloud 9….and she fell hard to the ground face down!!!
The engagement ring was still on her ring finger, but it somehow had lost its shine. The sparkling white diamond was now red!! The lifeless body of the boy was beside her. The boy’s face had the same blissful smile he had an hour ago, when he had asked her to marry him. He had the same handkerchief tucked in his pocket which he had used to wipe the happy tears that fell from her eyes an hour ago. But he was no more there to wipe the blood-like tears falling down her cheeks now…
They were holding hands. Reminiscing their happy past and planning for their long future ahead. It seemed like angels were smiling upon both of them….until the speeding metal-clad demon ran over the boy….spilling blood all over. The girl wished she had died along with him…At that moment, death seemed so much sensible to her than living without him!! The demon did not even stop to help her…the boy could have been saved...they could have had everything they were dreaming off…but now the thought seemed futile….he was dead…and so was her soul!!
Word Count: 397
Image Courtesy:
Google Images
So how is it??
Do let me know!!!
Labels: FICTION, heartbroken, love, My Blog, T.W.L.
24 comments:
of the two entries for the contest that i read.. i LOVED this though it has a terrible ending ;)
go grab the prize now :P
cud u plz remove the word verification system :(
hey thanks a lot divs...
oh ya..i had to remove that..a lot have complained....:D
sorry!!!
and prize...lols!!!
wow, thats really a good story, very well written, made me feel sad :(
sorry for not being around lately, realy very busy, have commented only on close friends' blogs (else they would have killed me)
when i disappear like that, you dont worry .... just most probably i am stuck with office work :(
you take care :)
have a nice day!
thanks Lena!!!
hey no need to apologize!!!
but i am kinda angry...so am i not your good friend???:P :D...kiddin!!
office work...huh???...cool!!
same to you...c ya soon!!! hopefully!!!
lol who says you are not a good one :P
i said only close ones :P those who keep pestering me every single day like divs for example :P :D
well then I guess i'd also have to start pestering you soon, every single day...wud compare notes with divs very soon!!!!
You better watch out!!!:D;P
scary!!!..But a good write up..liked it! :D
Hey Crystal....
Thanks for visiting
Scary....kinda the intention behind it!!:P :D
Liked it....seriously???
But i guess I'd send some other entry to the contest...
Keep visiting!!
lol.. will watch out :D
but usually i always catch up :P
dont send another entry, this one is really good :)
lets see...i bet you won't be able to catch up with me!!!:)
and if you really think it is good...then...i won't change the entry...
thanks lena!!:D
aah nice blog... :)
loved it...
blogrolled you! :D
thanks for the visit!!!
and thanks for blogrolling :D
Keep visiting!!!
A nice one Akshat... very well written.. but sad :(
It's really good for the contest...
Good going!
Hey aren't you a night creature!!!
Thanks...i was having second thought bout it but now I guess this would be it!!!
Catch some z...will you!!
I am going...gotta catch a lot of zzzzzz
"She hadn't done anything wrong, then why is she the one to suffer???" - Grammatically inconsistent. Replace 'is' with 'was' and 'then' with 'but'.
"Reminiscing about their happy past..." - chuck the 'about'.
Life is never fair. You never know when Zeus will let rip his lighting-bolt. A fine narration on the harsh realities of life. And love.
So... A contest entry? Bonne chance!
---
Greetings,
Well. If you must know... Nothing is all right as yet. Laptop's kaput. Desktop has snubbed me outright. And BSNL has ensured I do something to lose my addiction to the internet. Three days unplugged (and counting)... Not to mention, AirTel GPRS is at it's frustrating best. At my uncles place now. Hope to update my space in a while.
Hope everything's fine at your end.
Peace.
Hey Kartz!!
At last you are here!!!:P
As per all the errors...I'll correct them in a jiffy...
Thanks for everything!!...This is why I wait desperately foe your critical review...It helps a lot!!!
____________________________________________________________
Bad to hear your problems...i sympathize with you..I myself am a huge Internet addict..and don't know how a day would pass without me logging into all my haunts!!:)
Mend all the problems asap!!:D
"As per all the errors..." - As for all the errors...
Well, problems sorted; albeit momentarily. Should update in a couple of days.
Peace.
*embarrassed*
Yay!!..So hopefully I'd get some good masterpieces to read from your side!!!
Oh and I forgot!!
PEACE!!!:D :P
Oh freak!!!
well written thoug :D
Lols at oh freak!!
Thanks!!:)
Oh no :(
Some things are just not meant to be...
Very well written!
Yes it is a shame...that some "good" things are also not meant to be!! :(
Thanks for the generous compliment!!:D
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